My The End of Year Show

I hope that this explains some of my blogging behavior lately. I issue no apologies.



Only the one piece is mine. The others belong to my wounderful classmates.

Let's Try Something Else...

OK, so, maybe that wasn't the best question to start off with (I was running purely off of espresso at that point in my life). How about this one: Has finals week ever kicked your butt as badly as it is kicking mine now?

Let's Try Something New

One thing about blogging that I don't enjoy is how one-sided it tends to be. True, there is a comment section for all of you to place your two cents in, but it is not frequented as much as I would like it to be. So, here's what we're going to do differently this time. I am going to give you all a question which is both descriptive of actual autobiographical events and requires you to answer in a way that lets me know a little something more about you. This way, we both win.

Here it is: Have you ever found it difficult to get your pants on because your body was covered in vaseline and plaster chunks?

Hmm…

Today in philosophy class, our professor told us about a few opportunities for us to study abroad in Mexico. The trips themselves sound amazing; however, their motives provoke a loud eschatological “hmm…”

Apparently, it is becoming a sort of trend in higher education to make one’s student into what they refer to as “global citizens.”

Hmm…

Housing Hell or Wonderful Opportunity?

Shockingly, this is not a post about my life in the dorms.

Before last week, I had plans to live with a wonderful young lady next school year. This week, the young lady, who is still wonderful, informed me that she has decided to live alone next year. The picture above describes where this leaves me. Paddle-less.

This would not be so bad if it were not so late in the year. All of my friends, plus everyone else that I have spoken with so far, already have their housing plans for the coming school year. This leaves me more or less on my own.

I have been hunting up and down, but so far, nothing looks promising. The only studio/one bedroom apartments in the area are on or dangerously close to Troost, and since rape and murder are not on my experiential “to do” list, I think that I’ll pass on those. Currently, my only opportunity is a two-bedroom duplex that I would have to start paying rent on in June. Rent in $750 a month. This means that I would pay $1500 just for the two months that I don’t live in it during the summer, being that I don’t (and, chances are, won’t) have a roommate.

These being the circumstances, the most economic thing to do (at least as far as I can see), is as follows: take the $1500 that I would have used for rent over the summer and buy a used car that gets good gas mileage, and that I will, God willing, use for far more than two months (hopefully several years). I would then use this car to commute from school to my home at IHOP, just twenty minutes away, where the rent is so much cheaper that it will make up for the extra expense of gas and insurance.

I must admit that this thought is a little romanticized by the idea of being so close to the Prayer Room. Having spent last night with Char and Jesse, I was in the Prayer Room both last night and this morning, and it was truly refreshing. Plus, there would be the possibility of being able to pick up a couple of shifts a week at the bookstore if I beg well enough. After all, it is the most wonderful job that I could imagine myself having right now (that was both sincere and begging).

If anyone else has an idea that they feel is superior to the one above, I should hope that they would feel free to express it. I’m confident that God will take care of me, and direct me in the way that I should go, but as for now, either I am hard of hearing or He is not speaking about it at the moment. If you think of it, please throw up a few prayers for my situation, so that my living situation next year doesn’t look like the picture blow.



OK, so that is overly dramatic, but that seems to be a theme here at the blog…

A Little Story from when I was Little

Since there really isn’t anything very interesting going on in my life right now that I could share with you, here is a little something from years gone past. Not only is it cute, but is also speaks to my current vocation. I hope that you enjoy it.

So, I was somewhere between ages seven and nine, when I was obsessed with building blocks. Having just come out of my Lincoln Log period, I loved to build towers, as high as I could make them, with elaborate bases for imaginary people to enter through.

It so happened that I was home alone. My father was at work, and the rest of the family was off grocery shopping or something else like that, while I was hard at play in the living room, making what I hoped to be my largest tower yet. I realized that this would require a large base, and after building that, I came to the halting realization that our home suffered from a terrible shortage of wooden building blocks.

I sat there, distressed over my half-built tower and wondering what to do, when my gaze was turned to the entertainment center, packed full of VHS movies. It did not take me long to understand that a VHS is nothing more than a plastic building block.

Quickly, I was at work again. I had unsheathed every single movie in our collection and placed them, one on top of the other, until it was, indeed, the largest tower my home had ever known. I was quite in raptures by the sight of it and could not wait for my mother to come home so that she could also know this joy as well.

Shortly, my mother was there, and when she saw the tower, surely her emotions were as at least as strong as mine were, but not of the same nature. I evaded a swat on the butt, however, I was ordered to immediately disassemble the tower and place all of the videos back into there proper cases. It was a sad disassemble-age, but I still carry the pride form that tower of innovation. My only wish is that I would have documented that work.

Forgive me...

I am sorry that I have not blogged in about a month. Things have been crazy on my side of things, and it seemed like everything was changing so fast that it wasn't worth my time to record any of it, and I must say that, for the most part, I was right. Non of the news I have for you now is the same as it would have been when it first happened.

As for now, the one settled thing that I have to tell you about is that I bought myself flowers. I was shopping at Wild Oats yesterday, and they had a sizable bouquet of flowers for six dollars. I bought them thinking that I would give them to my sister to celebrate her return form Inner Healing Camp, but when I put them in a water pitcher that my high school ceramics teacher made to keep them fresh, I decided to keep them because they make me happy. Maybe after a little while, I will give them away, because it also makes me happy to invest in someone else's happiness.

Sculpture it is!

I have finally decided: I will major in Sculpture. Reaching this conclusion was a long and tedious battle between ceramics and sculpture, but the department visits which I participated in today made it final.

I can hardly wait to enter this department, but I know that it will not be easy. An example of the difficulty of this major is made clear in the Sophomore Program Syllabus which I received today. In the class called “Materials and Processes,” taken in the fall semester, the first assignment is to re-invent the wheel. No joke.

True, this will be a lot of work, but it will also be a lot of fun, and I will come out of it with some mad skills. By the end of my sophomore year, I will be able to cold and hot cast, and use materials ranging from latex to bronze.

The only problem that I can see between the department and I, is that the sculpture building is made of brick and cement, so it gets cold in the winter, really cold. But, hey, if it gets to be a bit too much, then I’ll just have to do a hot cast or oxy welding or some other really cool thing that sculptors do with fire.

My Bookshelf

These are things on my bookshelf from left to right:

-“Spectacular Ireland” (a photography book of the Emerald Isle)
-“Gardner’s Art through the Ages” Twelfth Edition
-“The Yale Shakespeare, The Complete Works” (this book, when combined with the above title, equals my entire body weight)
-“Two Thousand and Two Cambridge Middle School Yearbook” I don’t know why I still have this.
-“The American Heritage College Dictionary”
-“The Elements of Style”
-“A Short Guide to Writing about Art”
-“Ways of Seeing”
-“Ascent of Mount Carmel”
-“The Song of the Bride”
-“The Passion of the Christ”
-“Holy Bible” NIV This was the Bible I used for most of my life. The one I use know is an ESV that I keep in my purse.
-“Bridal Intersession”
-“Deep Unto Deep”
-“Generation Esther”
-“Endurance, Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage”
-“The Hidden Power of a Surrendered Life”
-“The Warrior’s Heart”
-“Come to Papa”
-“Dealing with the Rejection and Praise of Man” I got this one for free because it is missing a few pages. I love the defective bin at the bookstore.
-“The Unabridged Mark Twain” I barrowed this one from my aunt when I was sixteen…I don’t really plan on returning it.
-“Revolution in World Missions”
-“Experiencing the Depths if Jesus Christ” This copy was given to me as a graduation present from a dear friend, Natasha Lee
-“All Quiet on the Western Front” A must for all who are mature enough, and more specifically a gift from my AP European History teacher for writing such a kick butt essay on it.
-“The Knowledge of the Holy”
-“The Picture of Dorian Gray” A birthday present from another dear friend, Kristen Anderson
-“Pride and Prejudice” Yet another gift, from Matthias Bryson in celebration of my entering art school
-“Experiencing the Depth of Jesus Christ” I had bought this copy before my friend gave me the other one.
-“Do You Think I’m Beautiful?” Another defective bin special.
-“Tell No One”
-An old spiral bound journal
-“The Life of St. Teresa of Avila by Herself”
-A book end made of petrified wood

Now, how many of these titles do you think I have read, partially read, and not read at all?

St. Louis

I just returned from a road trip to St. Louis. It is spring break here at KCAI, and Supper K and I decided to take this time to and visit many a friend and tourist attraction in this gateway city. It was a lovely time, so here is an over view with a few choice quotes:

Monday:
-Arrived in St. Louis
-Cooked dinner for Lottie (the friend that we stayed with) and her family
-Left to pick up Ernie and go to a MeWithoutYou and Sparta show at Pops
Note: Pops was an extremely oppressive place in the spirit, however, MeWithoutYou shifted the atmosphere and the Holy Spirit showed up so that there were points in the show where I was simply worshiping (that also had to do with the fact that the crowd sucked and refused to dance. They even looked at Supper K funny when she started to sing along).

Tuesday:
-Woke up early and went to City Museum, which is a magical place of caves, slides, and climbing. We (being five college students from KCAI) absolutely exhausted ourselves by playing in the tunnels, which could be risky business, as they were built for people about half our size and are very dark. That being said, here are some quotes from City Museum:

“There’s something squishy over here.”

“I am so sorry guys.” (Insert farting noise)

“Supper K, are you alright?”
“I got out of it, but I’m wet, naked, and screaming.”

“What part of the whale did we just crawl through?”

“Is this up to code?”

-Went to a local café on Clair’s recommendation, which turned out to be run by hateful, extreme left-winged lesbians for coffee (I got the WWJJD)
-Went to Justin’s house (Lottie’s boyfriend) to watch Star Wars
-Ate dinner at Lottie’s, and sooner after, fell asleep

Wednesday:
-Went to the Contemporary Art museum, where they were having an Andy Warhol and Jim Hodges exhibition called “I Remember Heaven.” I can now say that I have stood in front of a canvas soaked in Warhol’s urine.
-Went to eat at a local Mexican restaurant where we simultaneously watched soap operas (it was a highlight).
-Went to the St. Louis Science Center, which is kind of a disappointment, but it was free.
-Next, we went to The Loop, where we entered many random stores, drank coffee, and I bought the most amazing book 'Yes, You are a Revolutionary! Plus Seven Other Books by Sparrow.' One of these seven other books is a compendium of Dinosaur Haikus (don’t be jealous).
-Again, had dinner at Lottie’s, but instead of falling asleep, had a killer round of “Truth or Dare” and watched “The Lake House.”

Thursday:
-Slept till noon
-Went to the Botanical Gardens, where I bought a photo book for my younger sister Anna to give her on her birthday, just as my older sister, Charleen, gave me a photo book for my birthday the first year she was in school (I expect this to be new family tradition).
-Ate dinner at a Chinese restaurant
-Came back to KC, at which point I gave Alison a can of mystery paint that I bought at City Museum, Chelsea a Crazy Cat Lady action figure (another City Museum purchase), and Phil a neck tie (two guesses to figure out were it came from).

Some Goals

Just a few things that I would like to do before I die or Christ comes back, in no particular order:

1. Wake up on the sand by the ocean
2. Climb a mountain
3. Live in Qumran
4. Live among the Franciscan monks of Vatican City
5. See the Cliffs of Dover
6. Visit Paris
7. Explore London
8. Eat Italian food in Italy
9. Live a life of total surrender to God
10. Walk on water
11. Make a piece of art that is so much more God’s than mine that it causes people to repent when they see it
12. Fight Allen Hood

I think that if you have stayed in one place for about a month, you can say that you have lived there, not just visited.

Now That You Know

Since my last post officially took me out of the mohawk closet, I think that there are a few other things that you should know as well:

1. I am constantly receiving complements on my hair now, mostly from complete strangers who, often, also happen to be homeless.
2. I get the most hilarious stairs from children, girls especially.
3. The cashier at Starbucks gave me a free shot of espresso for being so hardcore (oxymoron?).
4. When I asked Him, the Holy Spirit said He liked it (trump card- take that).

Oh, and one more thing for the road: Fairchildren and other married bloggers with joint blog accounts, if you two don’t start telling me which one of you it is leaving the comment, I will eventually find a threat to threaten you with that is so threatening that you might actually care enough about the potential execution of that threat that it would make you start telling me which one of you is leaving the comment.

Love…everything I say is a cynical kind of affection.

A Visual Story...No Words Needed

Thoughts, Intpretations, Concerns, Please Share.

Laundry 5:3-6

I have plaster on my garments,
how could I put them on?
I have paint on my shirts,
how could they be blue again?
I put my few quarters to the washer,
and my soap lathered in the basin.
I arose to hang my clothes,
and they grew dry,
they aired out and grew dry,
hanging from my lofted bed.
I had cleaned my garments,
but the paint had not gone from them.
My blue shirt had been ruined.
I sat next to my computer;
it web streamed: Cities 97.

Gay-dar

On Thursday, my teacher, Dell, took one of my classmates and I to Home Depot to get supplies for a group project. As we were getting into his Ford Ranger, I said that my aunt used to have the same truck. Dell immediately responded to this with the question, “Is your aunt a lesbian?”

I was offended by this question, because he was making a presumption about my aunt’s sexuality, a very personal issue that is tied very closely to one’s identity, based solely on the fact that she had once owned a truck. Regardless of how a person may feel regarding the morality of alternative lifestyles, I feel that it is wrong to assume things about a person’s sexuality because of their preferences in other areas of life.

I believe that “gay-dar” is terrible thing that can actually be hurtful to the people whose sexuality one is attempting to discern from their appearance. I, for one, could tell several stories about people who were deeply wounded by other people who assumed things about their sexual orientation due to their “butch” or “feminine” tendencies, and what makes this even worse is that the people who wounded them actually thought that they were being sensitive by supporting the person’s perceived lifestyle. I find this to be infuriating.

I think that Christians should be especially aware of the hurtful nature of “gay-dar,” as when we do this, we are essentially assigning that person sin. Not only are we projecting that onto that person, but we are sinning ourselves by judging them.

Therefore, when I meet a new person, I assume them to be a monogamous heterosexual, not only for the reasons above, but also because, the last I had heard, only about 11% of the world’s population practice homo- or by- sexuality. However, if it does come out that they are in fact in an alternative lifestyle, I think no differently of them. I have a problem with homosexuality, not homosexuals. Jesus loves homosexuals so much that He died for them. Yes, I do believe that homosexuality is a sin (see 1 Cor. 6:9), but so is lying (see 1 Peter 3:10).

Something Funny

“Did you know that the word “porcelain” comes from the Italian word for “pig vagina” or “little pig”?” –Dell (my studio teacher)

“I’m making “Trabbits.”” –Travis

“Were you following my lead or was I following yours?”
“I don’t know. How’d we end up here?” –Jesse (from KCAI, not my brother in law) and I in Home Depot

“Make sure to be in a very calm, Zen state while driving with Jesse.” -Tasha warning me about Jesse’s driving.

“It really wasn’t a big deal, because I’d cut through that lawn all the time to freak out my friend when he was drunk in the backseat.” -Jesse explaining to me why Tasha had warned me about his driving.

“They would do this thing called “bear slapping.”” –Dell

“My BS degree is in Chemistry. There are 93 elements on the periodic table.” –Richard (my Western Thought teacher)

Misplaced or Well Placed?

This one is an apology couched in a story.

I was sick, in my dorm room, listening to Edison Glass, looking at my photo book of Spectacular Ireland, and sipping a latte, when the Holy Spirit entered the room. I was hungry, and dinner was being served in the cafeteria, so I got out of listening to Him by reasoning that it was just my emotions, and left to eat. That was stupid.

When I got back to my room, I asked forgiveness, it was given, and God started speaking again. He brought me to John’s account of the last supper, specifically to the part where He washes His disciples’ feet, and highlighted a verse that I have never much thought of before. It was John 13:7 which says, “Jesus answered him [Peter], “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.””

Having the retrospect of someone who knows the story, I always just took that verse for granted, and I had never really thought of the emotion behind it. Jesus was about to die, and He was the only one who knew it. I know that if I were Him, all I would have wanted was someone to understand and show me sympathy; to let me cry while they held me on the night before I died. Christ was perfectly alone. But even while He was in that place of being totally misunderstood, He ministered to His beloved, right up to the end.

When I titled my blog, what I really meant was “misunderstood” which lead me to feel misplaced, even though I knew that I was not and still am not. As far as I can tell, it is a theme thru out the Bible that the greatest and most critical times in a person’s life is when he or she will feel the most misplaced. Most of the Old Testament prophets suffered greatly when they brought forth the Word of the Lord, so did the Apostles, and Jesus Himself suffered the most of anyone when He was buying us back.

Therefore, who I am I to piss and moan about my life at a liberal college? Persecution only means that I am well placed, not misplaced, and I should count it joy to be stationed at Kansas City Art Institute at this time to serve the will of my God. Knowing this, I must issue an apology to those who have read this blog in its sinful state, and ask their forgiveness, as the contents of this page have not been uplifting or edifying to anyone.

I will still write about things that I think are funny or ridiculous that happen here, but it won’t be to try and evoke your sympathy for my terrible life at art school, twenty minuets away from IHOP, my sister and her husband, along with several wonderful Christian friends.

However, I will keep the phrase “Offensive Confessionals,” in the title, because I think it’s funny, and there are plenty of people who find the Gospel offensive. I just won’t be trying to be offensive anymore.

I love all of you, and thank you for tuning in.

Oh, and Jane doesn’t really hate me, she was just having a bad day, so I’m sorry for that misunderstanding as well.

Title-less

People do a lot more talking than living. It’s sounds cynical, but it is reality. We read the Bible, sit in church, have an incredible encounter with the Lord, re-commit ourselves to living a life of no compromise, say that we will learn to operate in the prophetic even in mundane situations, become exhausted from constantly exerting the energy it takes to engage with the Holy Spirit, become frustrated with the very idea of fasting, and a week later think back on the whole thing as a great “mountain top” experience.

I know that this is all coming across very critically, but please know that it is a self-inspired critique. I have just told you in a very long, run-on sentence about much of my Christian experience. I find that what I am really running after a good chunk of the time are the warm and fuzzy feelings of a good time with Jesus. When it comes to actually living a life of surrender, most of the time, I’m a pansy.

Right now, I am gripped with the gravity of the hour at which we live, and it has inspired me to live a life of longsuffering, but where will that conviction go when the Lord is silent? What will I do when He isn’t speaking to me so clearly and I don’t feel Him? How will I act in the dark night of my soul?

My past experience has told me that I will slack off and wait for the next mountain top, and that pattern scares the hell out of me. I want to be God’s friend, His best friend, not the person He invites to his birthday party because we hung out a few times back in the day. Honestly, I am so terrified of repeating the past, I could crap my pants. I don’t dare allow myself any comfort, but rather put on my sackcloth and ashes, crying out to not be a fool, but rather to store up oil that He may know me on the day of His coming.

On a lighter and totally unrelated note, last Friday I was required to go to this concert, where a sophomore spoke to us briefly about her work. She began her speech by telling us that her given name was the one printed in the hand out, however her “Art Name” what Ophelia, and that’s the name that she goes by. It was so ridiculous, that I knew that I needed one, so here it is: Che “Dangerous Mind” Guevara. I don’t know what I did to earn the nick-name, but, hey, it’s my art name and reflective of the fact that no one understands me.

Little Did You Know

Do any of you remember when Third Day came out with that amazing song “You Are So Good to Me”? Everyone loved it. Christian radio stations played it at least three times a day, and I can remember hearing people talk about how much more they loved Third Day because of it. I’m sure that they made some serious bank off of it, too.

What many people do not know is that Third Day did not write this song. Oh, no my friends, we can give credit for this song to one of my favorite musicians, Ben Pasley.

Unfortunately, I can hear all of you in my head right now asking, “Who?” The answer to your question is the man who is responsible for Enter the Worship Circle records, the artist featured on the first Chair and Microphone album (of which there will be a total of 150 volumes, by the way), and the extra guy you hear but never know on assorted tracks of varying Enter the Worship Circle albums.

This great man is the first one ever (aside from God) to know the lyrics and melody to “You Are So Good to Me.” He wrote it, Waterdeep preformed it, and Third Day covered it, subsequently making it famous. Now you know, and if you need proof, just check it out.

http://www.worshiparchive.com/worship_chord_sheet.asp?t=author&id=67

Day One

This has been my first full day back at school. I began a plaster and slip casting class along with a class on the history of western thought. Tomorrow morning I will begin Topics in Western Art II, the sequel to a coasting class I had last semester.

Today at lunch, I met this boy named Jesse, who is a Christian, and even slept near IHOP during one of the summers he had run away from his parents and was homeless. I invited him to the Bible study that Jane and I have with two wonderful third year FSM students, and he sounded very excited about it.

Later, I told Jane that I had invited him, and I found out that all those times she had said “I hate you” to me sarcastically, she wasn’t actually being sarcastic. Then I watched “Little Miss Sunshine” and laughed really hard.

I miss IHOP.

Switching Back to Days

As a few of you know, I was on the Night Watch schedule for a short while, but now the date of returning to school is coming up fast (God help me), and I am trying to switch back to days.

I have encountered some problems in this transition, and I was wondering if any of you could tell me if it is a bad sign that the only reason I know that I slept last night is that I can vaguely remember a Star Trek dream that I think that I had last night?

Even though I am sleep deprived, I’ve taken this unique opportunity to learn about myself. One thing that I have learned is that no matter how little sleep I have gotten (if I have gotten any at all) is that it doesn’t matter as long as I have my morning fix. “What is this fix?” you ask. Simple: a quad-shot latte and Sheryl Crow.

So, I’m curious, what is your morning fix? Please share.

I Like that I Like…

I decided to take my next blog entries and say what it is that I like about the people that I like. What inspired this? Good spirits. When will it end? When I stop. That’s all the explanation that you’re getting, and with that you also get:

Alison Smith.
Alison Smith is a sweet southern belle, without the empty-headed superficial-ness that the phrase connotes. Although she is among the kindest people that I have ever met, she is still full of reality on many different levels.

The first level is a practical one. She does more stuff than anyone I know, and makes the most of every opportunity. She is on staff, assists Stewart Greaves, is among one of the most well read people that I know, plays the piano, is learning to play the clarinet, com-leads for the Fire In The Night interns, mentors a beautiful young lady, and she knits her own scarves. Her resourcefulness with her time doesn’t end there: I once had a lovely outing with her shopping for new drapes to go in her kitchen. After we had the drapes hung, she fired me an egg. Whatever she has, she shares.

However, the thing that I most value her for is her reality of Christ and His coming again. She will quickly put sweetness aside in order to keep Holiness and Purity. In every situation she is put in, even if she doesn’t know how, she trusts that God will use it to make her a better person, more loving and even more beautiful, so she doesn’t run away from anything. I don’t think that you could keep her away from her Bible with a pit bull. She is always searching, but always grounded as well, and overall, an extremely balanced person.

I love you, dearly!

Guys in Girl Jeans

I’m a huge fan. However, there are rules. Just like everything else, they should never be too tight or too low. But a properly fitted pair of girl jeans on a boy is a beautiful thing. Never doubt that.